Your Pitch Should Sound Like its on the Back of a Book

A query letter is a lot like a pitch. After all you're pitching your work to a perspective agent or editor. A pitch can also be when you already have an agent, and your tossing around new ideas. Either way they should sound similar.

1)It should hook your reader, who ever they are.
2)It should leave them hanging, and wanting more.
3)It should be the shiniest thing you've ever written, next to your manuscript of course.

You want your pitch to sound like something on a book jacket. You know, that thing you read when you're deciding whether or not to buy a book. Its the same when you're trying to get published. You want that agent (or editor) to read more. And just like the readers perusing the local bookstore, one of the first things you look at is that jacket cover for the book's description.

You'll notice its not long, or overly wordy. We meed the characters, but only know a little about them. Still we find ourselves wanting to read more, and if done right, your query (or pitch) will do the same. Here's an example of the latest one I'm working on. This is a first draft. It will go through many more revisions before I decide I've gotten it right. But its important to see work not just in its final polished stage. As any writer will tell you, story telling can be a messy business. So what do you think of my pitch and how do you do yours?

An oppressed people.

A captive Princess with a secret.

And a Crown Prince who doesn’t know where his loyalties lie.

Princess Raiden watched helplessly as her family was murdered. In one night her entire family was gone, and all because of one man’s lust for power. She would welcome death, but not before she’s made the murders pay.

Orin knows what his father did for power. He knows how his title, Crown Prince, was paid for in blood. It makes him sick. But can he really betray his own father, even if its the right thing to do?

To reach their goals, the Princess of the old regime and the Prince of the new, will have to form an unlikely alliance. But things can never go back to the way they were. Trust is what they need now. Will Orin understand when Raiden reveals she is also the cat seen prowling the castle halls? And will Raiden realize that the choice Orin made will most likely lead to his father’s death? They will have to let go of the past, or neither will have a future. But can they really bring something good out of the aftermath of bloody tragedy? Orin and Raiden will have to fight to restore a land in turmoil, and risk their lives to bring a murderer to justice. And just maybe they’ll be able to find happiness for themselves.