Let's Talk About Sex

I've been wanting to do a post on this for a while now. Being a YA writer, I know its a hot button topic, with passionate arguments all around. But long before I was a YA writer, I was a YA reader.

When I myself was a young adult, I liked the books with a sex scene or two. What kid didn't? But I didn't seek them out. I just read YA fantasy. And some of them did, and some of them didn't, and I didn't really put a whole lot of thought into that when choosing another book to read.
But what's important to remember is that me, and probably most kids, already knew about sex before we were reading it in fiction. For me, I'd been taking a state required sex ed class every year since middle school. We all remember the banana and the condom. That sucked! So it wasn't anything terribly new. What was new, was the emotional aspect. That stuff was never covered in class. In the books the characters have the same feelings, face the same decisions, and have to deal with the repercussions. They make good decisions and bad decisions just like anyone else.

Life has sex in it. And we can't hide that from our children. Now as an adult I feel that the YA books with sex in them are important. Stories teach us things, about life, good, and evil, love, and hate. Classes and parents taught the mechanics, and maybe a passing, you should be in love or married kind of thing. But beyond that it was just too embarrassing for all parties involved. But in the stories, characters had to face conflicting emotions, choices, and their repercussions. All that stuff that no one ever told you, and is probably the most important. YA stories told us that maybe that hot guy just wants to get in your pants. And how high and wild your emotions can run when your a hormonal teenager. And even deal with the aftermath of the crushing blow when you realized the one you thought you loved was only after some tail.

What actually bothers me most about sex scenes in books, are when they are clearly just added in for the sake of adding a sex scene. I want it to fit in with the story, to be believable. Not every story needs a sex scene, but some do, because that is what's natural and normal. And we all like our stories, even the fantasies to be believable.